"How do you pronounce SunOS?"  "Just like you hear it, with a big SOS"
		-- dedicated to Roland Kaltefleiter
%
Linux ext2fs has been stable for a long time, now it's time to break it
		-- Linuxkongre '95 in Berlin
%
The state of some commercial Un*x is more unsecure than any Linux box without a root password...
		-- Bernd Eckenfels
%
Less is more or less more
		-- Y_Plentyn on #LinuxGER
%
Let's call it an accidental feature.
		-- Larry Wall
%
Win95 is not a virus; a virus does something.
		-- unknown source
%
Machine Always Crashes, If Not, The Operating System Hangs (MACINTOSH)
		-- Topic on #Linux
%
Save yourself from the 'Gates' of hell, use Linux."  -- like that one.
		-- The_Kind @ LinuxNet
%
I did this 'cause Linux gives me a woody.  It doesn't generate revenue.
		-- Dave '-ddt->` Taylor, announcing DOOM for Linux
%
if (argc > 1 && strcmp(argv[1], "-advice") == 0) {  printf("Don't Panic!\n");  exit(42);     }
		-- Arnold Robbins in the LJ of February '95, describing RCS
%
lp1 on fire
		-- One of the more obfuscated kernel messages
%
A Linux machine!  Because a 486 is a terrible thing to waste!
		-- Joe Sloan, jjs@wintermute.ucr.edu
%
Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. NO (or Linux) is the answer.
		-- Taken from a .signature from someone from the UK, source unknown
%
Windows without the X is like making love without a partner.
		-- MaDsen Wikholm, mwikholm@at8.abo.fi
%
Sex, Drugs & Linux Rules
		-- MaDsen Wikholm, mwikholm@at8.abo.fi
%
win-nt from the people who invented edlin.
		-- MaDsen Wikholm, mwikholm@at8.abo.fi
%
Apples  have  meant  trouble  since  eden.
		-- MaDsen Wikholm, mwikholm@at8.abo.fi
%
Linux, the way to get rid of boot viruses
		-- MaDsen Wikholm, mwikholm@at8.abo.fi
%
We are MicroSoft.  You will be assimilated.  Resistance is futile.
		-- Attributed to B.G., Gill Bates
%
Avoid the Gates of Hell.  Use Linux
		-- unknown source
%
Linux!  Guerrilla UNIX Development     Venimus, Vidimus, Dolavimus.
		-- Mark A. Horton KA4YBR, mah@ka4ybr.com
%
"Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?" Microsoft spel chekar vor sail, worgs grate !!
		-- Felix von Leitner, leitner@inf.fu-berlin.de
%
Linux: because a PC is a terrible thing to waste
		-- ksh@cis.ufl.edu put this on Tshirts in '93
%
Linux: the choice of a GNU generation
		-- ksh@cis.ufl.edu put this on Tshirts in '93
%
We come to bury DOS, not to praise it.
		-- Paul Vojta, vojta@math.berkeley.edu
%
How should I know if it works?  That's what beta testers are for.  I only coded it.
		-- Attributed to Linus Torvalds, somewhere in a posting
%
Absolutely nothing should be concluded from these figures except that no conclusion can be drawn from them.
		-- Joseph L. Brothers, Linux/PowerPC Project)
%
Problem solving under Linux has never been the circus that it is under AIX.
		-- Pete Ehlke in comp.unix.aix
%
By golly, I'm beginning to think Linux really *is* the best thing since sliced bread.
		-- Vance Petree, Virginia Power
%
I'd crawl over an acre of 'Visual This++' and 'Integrated Development That' to get to gcc, Emacs, and gdb.  Thank you.
		-- Vance Petree, Virginia Power
%
Oh, I've seen copies [of Linux Journal] around the terminal room at The Labs.
		-- Dennis Ritchie
%
...and scantily clad females, of course.  Who cares if it's below zero outside.
		-- Linus Torvalds
%
Besides, I think Slackware sounds better than 'Microsoft,' don't you?
		-- Patrick Volkerding
%
All language designers are arrogant. Goes with the territory...
		-- Larry Wall
%
Are Linux users lemmings collectively jumping off of the cliff of reliable, well-engineered commercial software?
		-- Matt Welsh
%
Even more amazing was the realization that God has Internet access.  I wonder if He has a full newsfeed?
		-- Matt Welsh
%
I once witnessed a long-winded, month-long flamewar over the use of mice vs. trackballs... It was very silly.
		-- Matt Welsh
%
Linux poses a real challenge for those with a taste for late-night hacking (and/or conversations with God).
		-- Matt Welsh
%
...Deep Hack Mode -- that mysterious and frightening state of consciousness where Mortal Users fear to tread.
		-- Matt Welsh
%
...Unix, MS-DOS, and Windows NT (also known as the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly).
		-- Matt Welsh
%
..you could spend *all day* customizing the title bar.  Believe me.  I speak from experience.
		-- Matt Welsh
%
...[Linux's] capacity to talk via any medium except smoke signals.
		-- Dr. Greg Wettstein, Roger Maris Cancer Center
%
Whip me.  Beat me.  Make me maintain AIX.
		-- Stephan Zielinski
%
Your job is being a professor and researcher: That's one hell of a good excuse for some of the brain-damages of minix.
		-- Linus Torvalds to Andrew Tanenbaum
%
Linux is obsolete
		-- Andrew Tanenbaum
%
Dijkstra probably hates me.
		-- Linus Torvalds, in kernel/sched.c
%
And 1.1.81 is officially BugFree(tm), so if you receive any bug-reports on it, you know they are just evil lies.
		-- Linus Torvalds
%
We are Pentium of Borg.  Division is futile.  You will be approximated.
		-- seen in someone's .signature
%
Linux: the operating system with a CLUE... Command Line User Environment.
		-- seen in a posting in comp.software.testing
%
Sic transit discus mundi
		-- From the System Administrator's Guide, by Lars Wirzenius
%
We are using Linux daily to UP our productivity - so UP yours!
		-- Adapted from Pat Paulsen by Joe Sloan
%
But what can you do with it?
		-- ubiquitous cry from Linux-user partner
%
MSDOS didn't get as bad as it is overnight -- it took over ten years of careful development.
		-- dmeggins@aix1.uottawa.ca
%
I've run DOOM more in the last few days than I have the last few months.  I just love debugging ;-)
		-- Linus Torvalds
%
The only "intuitive" interface is the nipple.  After that, it's all learned.
		-- Bruce Ediger, bediger@teal.csn.org, on X interfaces
%
How do I type "for i in *.dvi do xdvi $i done" in a GUI?
		-- Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of interfaces
%
>Ever heard of .cshrc? That's a city in Bosnia.  Right?
		-- Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of commands
%
Who wants to remember that escape-x-alt-control-left shift-b puts you into super-edit-debug-compile mode?
		-- Discussion on the intuitiveness of commands, especially Emacs
%
Actually, typing random strings in the Finder does the equivalent of filename completion.
		-- Discussion on file completion vs. the Mac Finder
%
On the Internet, no one knows you're using Windows NT
		-- Submitted by Ramiro Estrugo, restrugo@fateware.com
%
> I'm an idiot..  At least this [bug] took about 5 minutes to find.. Disquieting ...
		-- Gonzalo Tornaria in response to Linus Torvalds's
%
Never make any mistaeks.
		-- Anonymous, in a mail discussion about to a kernel bug report
%
People disagree with me.  I just ignore them.
		-- Linus Torvalds, regarding the use of C++ for the Linux kernel
%
It's now the GNU Emacs of all terminal emulators.
		-- Linus Torvalds, regarding the fact that Linux started off as a terminal emulator
%
Audience: What will become of Linux when the Hurd is ready? Eric Youngdale: Err... is Richard Stallman here?
		-- From the Linux conference in spring '95, Berlin
%
Linux: The OS people choose without $200,000,000 of persuasion.
		-- Mike Coleman
%
The memory management on the PowerPC can be used to frighten small children.
		-- Linus Torvalds
%
Never trust an operating system you don't have sources for. ;-)
		-- Unknown source
%
> Linux is not user-friendly. It _is_ user-friendly.  It is not ignorant-friendly and idiot-friendly.
		-- Seen somewhere on the net
%
(I tried to get some documentation out of Digital on this, but as far as I can tell even _they_ don't have it ;-)
		-- Linus Torvalds, in an article on a dnserver
%
Q: What's the big deal about rm, I have been deleting stuff for years?  And    never lost anything.. oops! A: ...
		-- From the Frequently Unasked Questions
%
Linux is addictive, I'm hooked!
		-- MaDsen Wikholm's .sig
%
panic("Foooooooood fight!");
		-- In the kernel source aha1542.c, after detecting a bad segment list
%
Footnotes are for things you believe don't really belong in LDP manuals, but want to include anyway.
		-- Joel N. Weber II discussing the 'make' chapter of LPG
%
Ok, I'm just uploading the new version of the kernel, v1.3.33, also known as "the buggiest kernel ever".
		-- Linus Torvalds
%
Those who don't understand Linux are doomed to reinvent it, poorly.
		-- unidentified source
%
We apologize for the inconvenience, but we'd still like yout to test out this kernel.
		-- Linus Torvalds, announcing another kernel patch
%
Excusing bad programming is a shooting offence, no matter _what_ the circumstances.
		-- Linus Torvalds, to the linux-kernel list
%
Linus?  Whose that?
		-- clueless newbie on #Linux
%
Whoa...I did a 'zcat /vmlinuz > /dev/audio' and I think I heard God...
		-- mikecd on #Linux
%
MS-DOS, you can't live with it, you can live without it.
		-- from Lars Wirzenius' .sig
%
'Ooohh.. "FreeBSD is faster over loopback, when compared to Linux over the wire". Film at 11.'
		-- Linus Torvalds
%
So in the future, one 'client' at a time or you'll be spending CPU time with lots of little 'child processes'.
		-- Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the private life of a Linux nerd
%
We should start referring to processes which run in the background by their correct technical name... paenguins.
		-- Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the penguin Linux logo
%
Linux: Where Don't We Want To Go Today?
		-- Submitted by Pancrazio De Mauro, paraphrasing some well-known sales talk
%
The most important design issue... is the fact that Linux is supposed to be fun...
		-- Linus Torvalds at the First Dutch International Symposium on Linux
%
The linuX Files -- The Source is Out There.
		-- Sent in by Craig S. Bell, goat@aracnet.com
%
C is quirky, flawed, and an enormous success
		-- Dennis M. Ritchie
%
If Bill Gates is the Devil then Linus Torvalds must be the Messiah.
		-- Unknown source
%
Vini, vidi, Linux!
		-- Unknown source
%
Checking host system type... i586-unknown-linux configure: error: sorry, this is the gnu os, not linux
		-- Topic on #Linux
%
It's easy to get on the internet and forget you have a life
		-- Topic on #LinuxGER
%
To kick or not to kick...
		-- Somewhere on IRC, inspired by Shakespeare
%
Linux - Where do you want to fly today?
		-- Unknown source
%
The easiest way to get the root password is to become system admin.
		-- Unknown source
%
The good thing about standards is that there are so many to choose from.
		-- Andrew S. Tanenbaum
%
LOAD "LINUX",8,1
		-- Topic on #LinuxGER
%
Not only Guinness - Linux is good for you, too.
		-- Banzai on IRC
%
If you really want pure ASCII, save it as text... or browse it with your favorite browser...
		-- Alexandre Maret <amaret@infomaniak.ch>
%
Beeping is cute, if you are in the office ;)
		-- Alan Cox
%
>  Where in the US is Linus?  He was in the "Promise Land".
		-- David S. Miller <davem@caip.rutgers.edu>
%
Subject: Linux box finds it hard to wake up in the morning  I've heard of dogs being like their owners, but Linux boxen?
		-- Peter Hunter <peter.hunter@blackfriars.oxford.ac.uk>
%
*** PUBLIC flooding detected from erikyyy <lewnie> THAT's an erik, pholx.... ;)
		-- Seen on #LinuxGER
%
All the existing 2.0.x kernels are to buggy for 2.1.x to be the main goal.
		-- Alan Cox
%
Computers are useless.  They can only give you answers.
		-- Pablo Picasso
%
martin@bdsi.com (no longer valid - where are you now, Martin?)
		-- from /usr/src/linux/drivers/cdrom/mcd.c
%
[...] or some clown changed the chips on a board and not its name. (Don't laugh!  Look at the SMC etherpower for that.)
		-- from /usr/src/linux/MAINTAINERS
%
REST: P:      Linus Torvalds S:      Buried alive in email
		-- from /usr/src/linux/MAINTAINERS
%
Why use Windows when you can have air conditioning?          Why use Windows, when you can leave through the door?
		-- Konrad Blum
%
Netscape is not a newsreader, and probably never shall be.
		-- Tom Christiansen
%
"You, sir, are nothing but a pathetically lame salesdroid! I fart in your general direction!"
		-- Randseed on #Linux
%
* Jes wonders why so many people in here uses fooZZZZZ and foo_sleeping nicks <peter> Jes: Because they are sleeping?
		-- Seen on #Linux
%
* gb notes that fdisk thinks his cdrom can store one terabyte
		-- Seen on #Linux
%
Check it out, send me comments, and dance joyously in the streets,
		-- Linus Torvalds announcing 2.0.27
%
Sex dumps core (Sex is a Simple editor for X11)
		-- Seen on debian bugtracking
%
I tried the clone syscall on me, but it didn't work.
		-- Mike Neuffer trying to fix a serious time problem
%
-  long    f_ffree;    /* free file nodes in fs */ +  long    f_ffree;    /* freie Dateiknoten im Dateisystem */
		-- Seen in a translation
%
<Tazman> damn my office is cold. <Tazman> need a hot secretary to warm it up.
		-- Seen on #Linux
%
Yes I have a Machintosh, please don't scream at me.
		-- Larry Blumette on linux-kernel
%
<miguel> any new sendmail hole I have to fix before going on vacations?
		-- Seen on #Linux
%
AUTHOR FvwmAuto just appeared one day, nobody knows how.
		-- FvwmAuto(1x)
%
<lilo> Fairlight: udp is the light margarine of tcp/ip transport protocols :)
		-- Seen on #Linux
%
i dont even know if it makes sense at all :) This is an experimental patch for an experimental kernel :))
		-- Ingo Molnar on linux-kernel
%
Linux - Das System fuer schlaue Maedchen ;)
		-- banshee
%
If loving linux is wrong, I dont wanna be right.
		-- Topic for #LinuxGER
%
The documentation is in Japanese.  Good luck.
		-- Rich $alz
%
People are going to scream bloody murder about that.
		-- Seen on linux-kernel
%
>   1. is qmail as secure as they say?  Depends on what they were saying, but most likely yes.
		-- Seen on debian-devel
%
NEVER RESPOND TO CRITICAL PRESS.  IT IS A GAME YOU CAN ONLY LOSE, AND IT MAKES US LOOK BAD.
		-- Bruce Perens
%
A feature is nothing more than a bug with seniority.
		-- Unknown source
%
"We don't do a new version to fix bugs." - Bill Gates "The new version - it's not there to fix bugs." - Bill Gates
		-- Retranslated from Focus 43/1995, pp. 206-212
%
Software is like sex; it's better when it's free.
		-- Linus Torvalds
%
Sorry.  I just realized this sentance makes no sense :)
		-- Ian Main
%
Make it idiot-proof, and someone will breed a better idiot.
		-- Oliver Elphick
%
Why are there always boycotts?  Shouldn't there be girlcotts too?
		-- argon on #Linux
%
<sct> Anyone want the new supermount? :) <klogd> whats new aboutit <sct> klogd: It cleans whiter than white. :)
		-- Seen on #Linux
%
- DDD no longer requires the librx library.  Consequently, librx   errors can no more cause DDD to crash.
		-- DDD
%
It's computer hardware, of course it's worth having <g>
		-- Espy on #Debian
%
Computers are like air conditioners.  Both stop working, if you open windows.
		-- Adam Heath
%
I am NOT a kludge!  I am a computer!
		-- tts
%
My apologies if I sound angry.  I feel like I'm talking to a void.
		-- Avery Pennarun
%
RIP is irrelevant.  Spoofing is futile.  Your routes will be aggregated.
		-- Alex Yuriev
%
After 14 non-maintainer releases, I'm the S-Lang non-maintainer.
		-- Ray Dassen
%
Steal my cash, car and TV - but leave the computer!
		-- Soenke Lange <soenke@escher.north.de>
%
<Stealth> How do I bind a computer to an NIS server? <Joey> Use a rope?
		-- Seen on #Debian
%
Real Men don't make backups.  They upload it via ftp and let the world mirror it.
		-- Linus Torvalds
%
One tree to rule them all, One tree to find them, One tree to bring them all, and to itself bind them.
		-- Gavin Koch <gavin@cygnus.com>
%
As I currently don't have a floppy drive in my computer, I'd like to make an `emergency cdrom' ;)
		-- Eugene Crosser <crosser@average.org>
%
| |-sshd---tcsh-+-dpkg-buildpacka---rules---sh---make---make---sh---make---sh---make---sh---make---sh---make---sh---make
		-- While packaging XFree86 for Debian GNU/Linux
%
/*  *     Please skip to the bottom of this file if you ate lunch recently  *                             -- Alan  */
		-- from Linux kernel pre-2.1.91-1
%
#if _FP_W_TYPE_SIZE < 64 #error "Only stud muffins allowed, schmuck." #endif
		-- linux/arch/sparc64/quad.c
%
#if _FP_W_TYPE_SIZE < 32 #error "Here's a nickel kid.  Go buy yourself a real computer." #endif
		-- linux/arch/sparc64/double.h
%
/*  * Buddy system. Hairy. You really aren't expected to understand this  *  */
		-- From /usr/src/linux/mm/page_alloc.cA
%
Just go ahead and write your own multitasking multiuser os! Worked for me all the times.
		-- Linus Torvalds
%
The truth is not free.  It's that simple.  If you change the truth, it is no longer true - so the truth is not free!
		-- Jules Bean about freeness of documentation
%
Ha. I say let them try -- even vi+perl couldn't match the power of an editor which is, after all, its own OS.  ;-)
		-- Johnie Ingram on debian-devel, about linking vim with libperl.so
%
No, that's wrong too.  Now there's a race condition between the rm and the mv.  Hmm, I need more coffee.
		-- Guy Maor on Debian Bug#25228
%
And Bruce is effectively building BruceIX
		-- Alan Cox
%
When a float occurs on the same page as the start of a supertabular you can expect unexpected results.
		-- Documentation of supertabular.sty
%
The unrecognized minister of propaganda, E
		-- seen in an email from Ean Schuessler
%
* dpkg ponders: 'C++' should have been called 'D'
		-- #Debian
%
<rm_-rf_> The real value of KDE is that they inspired and push the           development of GNOME :-)
		-- #Debian
%
<stu> Stupid nick highlighting <stu> Whenever someone starts with "stupid" it highlights the nick.  Hmm.
		-- #Debian
%
The first is to ensure your partner understands that nature has root privileges - nature doesn't have to make sense.
		-- Telsa Gwynne
%
Remember: While root can do most everything, there are certain privileges that only a partner can grant.
		-- Telsa Gwynne
%
<Skyhook> Where is 'bavaria' proper?  I thought it was austria.
		-- Seen on #Linux
%
How many chunks could checkchunk check if checkchunk could check chunks?
		-- Alan Cox
%
Someone on IRC was very sad about the uptime of his machine wrapping from 497 days to 0.
		-- linux-kernel
%
This kernel runs like a dessicated slug if you have more than 2G of memory due to a 32-bit overflow.
		-- Andrew Morton, on Linux 2.6.8-rc1-mm1
%
This code passes Torvalds test grades 0, 1 and 2 (it looks ok, it compiles and it booted).
		-- Alan Cox
%
<chesty> xemacs fixed my flatulence
		-- From the "XEmacs: Not just an editor" department
%
